“I adapted, delivered, and in the end, my role was eliminated anyway.”

When they hired a new manager, the writing was almost immediately on the wall that this person wanted me out. My role was completely redefined, but I decided to lean into it as an opportunity to learn something new.

I hit every bar that was set for me, including when my manager compressed one project timeline from four months to two weeks. I suspect the hope was that I would get frustrated and leave. Instead, I found that I actually enjoyed the challenge. I adapted, delivered, and in the end, my role was eliminated anyway.

I’m disappointed because I genuinely was open to reinventing myself and learning a new way of working. But I’m also relieved. I hadn’t fully understood how stressful the situation had become until it was over. I sleep better now and haven't had a single dream about toxic tech. I wake up without that gut-punched feeling in my stomach.

I also saw the writing on the wall. Thousands of researchers are out of work and there are so few jobs, so I had to be realistic about my odds of finding another role. I’m experienced, which also means I’m expensive, and I suspect many later-stage startups would rather hire someone more junior who is less likely to push back when asked to produce a “good enough” answer on an unreasonable timeline.

I think that’s shortsighted. Research loses its value when rigor is sacrificed for speed. Companies may save money by “democratizing research” and having PMs and designers run their own, but I’ve seen firsthand what happens when teams don’t get enough good signal: they build products customers don’t want, then scramble to figure out why. With good research to begin with, they wouldn’t have to backpedal.

So I’m leaving tech, and dammit, I feel FREE.

The future is considerably less certain than it used to be. I’m building my own business, and there’s a very real financial clock attached to making it work. But for the first time in a while, I’m stoked about what I’m building rather than anxious about surviving someone else’s organization.

I’ve never slept better. Now I just need to get the business working before I burn through too much of my retirement savings.